The worst shrink ever.

Okay so maybe not EVER but she's pretty awful.

I will not put her name here. I'm feeling generous....or maybe it's just pity for this woman who seems to be so horrible at her job and have no idea.

I had to psych (pun intended) myself up to even go to the shrink. I had gone once when Makily was just six months old. That therapist didn't help at all. When I told her about Makily her response was that I should be happy I could have more kids....which TECHNICALLY I probably could have but THERE WAS NO WAY I was risking pregnancy again. When I explained that to her she just looked dumbfounded.

sigh.

So after that experience I didn't really see the point in going again. I have had a lot of struggles as of late. I'm not coping like I once used to be able to so after lots of encouragement I looked up the shrinks on my insurance plans, picked a female and made the appointment.

On my way there I was nervous. I didn't really WANT to go but I am to the point I realize I do need professional help, so I went in the hopes that I would get something out of it.

I walked in the door and was greeted by the smell of cigarette smoke. I was annoyed but tried to convince myself that it may have just been the candle they had burning.

There was a family of five there. Mom, Dad and three Tween/Teen age boys. One of the boys was pacing, drinking a PEPSI and looking nervous. The shrink walked out from the back with one of the other boys and a letter . I heard her explaining to the mother that she had a "form letter" she had tweaked for the boy and he needed to go home and write it in his own handwriting. Apparently two of the boys had done something and the one was court ordered to write a letter of apology to the "victim".

How do I know that?

It was all said in front of me in the lobby. I kept thinking "wow they are breaking every HIPPA law in the book", but no one else seemed shocked so I just pretended to read my magazine. The "pacing boy" then went to the bathroom again to attempt to give a urine sample for a drug test HE was court ordered to take. That along with anger management and drug and alcohol abuse counseling. After three attempts to "go" he came out with a sample. Then the boy sat down next to his father and the shrink handed him a Certificate of Completion for Drug and Alcohol Counseling.

A few minutes later the boy walked to the back....then came back looking nervous and said "It's positive.....can I take another test, I don't know why it's positive." My first thought was " Yeah you know why it's positive you just smoked a fatty with your buddies last night...." lol.




Then I'm thinking it's about to get crazy up in this place because mom and dad and shrink are going to GO OFF. I'm actually excited about the fact that I am being entertained by all this and can't wait to watch the fireworks go off.

There were no fireworks to be had though.

In response to his son telling him he just pissed hot on a drug test, the father simply looked up from his book and asked the shrink what they should do.

Mom didn't react at all.

The shrink then says "Well it's his first test with me so don't worry about it." I'm thinking WAIT A MINUTE didn't she JUST give him a certificate of completion about drug and alcohol counseling.....and HE JUST PISSED HOT? Then the boy says "Well so and so wants me to take a test next week." The shrink then replied that the boy should tell THAT person that SHE would be testing him the following week, no need for her to do it, this would give him more time.

If he had court ordered drug testing and alcohol and drug counseling why on earth did they not test him HIS FIRST day there and then again his last day when he completed the counseling?

What do I know though?

They finally finish and I was called back for my appointment 30 minutes late because the shrink was dealing with that family.

I get into her office and it looked professional enough I guess....except one thing. The back door to her office was WIDE OPEN with one of those hanging screen thingies. You know MAGIC MESH.



I wasn't exactly impressed with the Magic Mesh door as any Tom, Dick or Harry could walk by and listen in. I wasn't very professional obviously.

I sat down and the first words out of her mouth were "Do you smoke". I said no and then she asked me how old I was. She complimented me by saying I look younger than my age. At this point I am realizing that she asked me if I smoked because SHE DOES and often, in her office which is why she has that stupid screen and why the place REEKED. Furthermore I believe had I said that I DO SMOKE she would have allowed ME to and she would have also. Nice.

Then she said "So what's up with you?"

I told her I wanted to learn new ways of coping with certain difficult parts of my life.

I told her briefly about Makily and her syndrome, then I told her about Jakob and as soon as I told her we fostered to adopt him THINGS WENT SOUTH!

She asked me about his biological parents and I told her their names to which she said SHE KNEW Jakob's bio mom. I told her I didn't think that was possible as they don't live here and she insisted it was his mom. After disputing this a few times I gave up and just let her convince herself that she was right. Then she went on and on about these people that ARE NOT Jakob's bios. I just sat nodding and smiling.

She told me she was adopted as an infant. That she was not told about it until she was seven and she felt incredibly betrayed. Then she asked me if we got money for Jakob. I was confused and said what do you mean. She said well since you adopted him don't you get money. I am adopting my grand daughter. Her father is a dirty Mexican and he is in jail and my daughter used cocaine a couple of times when she was pregnant.

*blink*

I told her that Jakob gets a monthly stipend because we adopted him through foster care and he is considered a special needs child. That I didn't think with family adoptions you got anything like that. She said "Well that sucks, darnit I thought I was gonna get some money for it."

*BLINK*

I start to wonder if I am being punked at this point.

Then she asks me how many children Jakob's bio mom had, when I told her SHE SAID:

"Don't you ever wonder why they don't JUST have abortions?"

*blink*

I said "No I just wonder why they don't get their tubes tied?"

I could not make this stuff up people.

She said that her parents would not tell her the names of her bio parents. She broke into the attic and into a safe and found the adoption papers but it only had her father's name on them.

She told me that when she was 15 she told her mother she was going to her friends house for the weekend. Instead she stole her mother's car and drove many states away where her adoption took place. She was pulled over for speeding at one point and when asked for her license she pretended to have left it at home. She gave her brother's birthday when asked and when the cop looked it up he told her that there was a glitch in the DMV'S system and to check on that when she got home and then sent her on her way.

She got to the agency that was helping her and they directed her to the hospital where the records from her birth would be. She broke into the medical records department and began going through the files trying to find hers when a police officer grabbed her by the back of her shirt. She ran, the police chasing her from the hospital and got away. It was very cold and snowing and she even had snow IN her shoes.

This story went on, and on, and on, and on and on.



During most of this conversation I was actually watching the clock and wondering how I could get out of there faster! She spent the majority of the session telling me all about her and her problems. It was very bizarre.

There was more dysfunction throughout this visit but this was the majority of it.

I am currently searching for a shrink.

sigh.

Me after the appt.