Buh bye Blue Lemon....Buh Bye.

After much thought, frustration and well no other choice we traded in THE BLUE LEMON and bought a new/used van.

Did we have the money? No not really. We had to pull it out of places I would rather not talk about. ;-) It basically came down to the fact that it was in the shop more than we had it, and WHO KNEW when that was going to end. Driving back and forth to Orlando with Makily was always nerve wracking. We couldn't keep throwing money into it with the hopes that "this will be it right"?

We got a GREAT deal on a 1999 Nissan Quest with only 58k miles on it. The people here in Ocala at Palm Kia were AWESOME. I of course haggled with them as much as I could and asked our salesman several times if he wanted to take Makily with him to negotiate prices with the manager. He laughed at me. Of course on EVERY PAPER I SIGNED I wrote "sale pending inspection by OUR MECHANIC". We took it in to Dave's and he was IMPRESSED. He went on and on about how he almost NEVER has Quest's brought in and the last one he saw recently had 180k miles on it and the alternator had gone out....big deal. He was floored with how low the miles are on it. So we FINALLY have a van that I don't have to manually drag the window up up while driving, or put water in every single time I drive it.

THANK YOU GOD!

Oh yeah and TWO MORE WEEKS TIL DISNEY!

wooo hooooo

Getting closer, feeling accomplished.

This is me today:

I finished driving school I had to take because of the ticket I got back in June. I did it online because I had no desire to go sit in a room for four hours on a Saturday.
I literally waited until the last minute to do it online. It just wasn't on my top priorities list. While doing that I was also typing up the eight pages of questions and answers for our foster care home study today. Can you believe it EIGHT PAGES! Most of the questions we had already answered in one other form or another on one of the several OTHER packets I had filled out. WHAT FUN.

The lady that did our home study was VERY nice and she was here for about an hour. She asked why I was on Effexor (it's an anti-depressant). I figured that eventually before our licensing was complete I would be asked this question. I was brutally honest. I told her that Makily's birth was terribly traumatic as well as the first year of her life. I explained that I suffered from SEVERE post partum depression as a result of that. I am still on the meds for a few reasons. The main reason being that when I skip a pill or forget one I can quickly see a difference in my mood and my patience level. I just don't see the point in stopping a medication that is obviously helping me deal with life. It does not numb me, I am fully functional and happier ON THE MEDS. Tom Cruise can REALLY BITE ME. When this interview was originally aired on TV I immediately lost all respect for him. (the respect was on it's way out the door already after his insane visit with Oprah and playing trampoline on her couches.)



I find it terribly pompous of him to claim that "exercise and vitamins" will cure post partum depression. I'm sorry Tom but when my daughter was in the middle of a seven hour crying spell and my life was falling apart around me, taking a jog and popping vitamin C was NOT going to help me. NO WAY, NO HOW! He is a spoiled, rich actor who has no idea what he is talking about. Come live my life Tommy Boy and then tell me more about PPD and antidepressants.

*STEPPING OFF OF SOAPBOX AND CONTINUING MY DAY*

She did a walk through of the house to make sure we had all the required smoke detectors and enough room for another child. We still need to have our medical forms filled out (my appt is Wed...oh joy), some copies made and our Health Inspection(waiting for them to call me with an appt on that)and then we are D-O-N-E! We will FINALLY be licensed. SO MANY HOOPS TO JUMP THROUGH!

Once that was done we went to the court house to prove I had taken driving school, picked up the BLUE LEMON from the shop and came home. So many things done and OUT OF THE WAY! LOVE IT!


I am getting so excited about our Disney trip next month. We are going in mid-October to see the St.Pierre family and to have a mini vacation/anniversary trip. Allen and I have been married for seven years as of 9-10 (last Monday). With so much going on we just didn't have time to celebrate it so we are making up for it next month!

The world's gone mad...or maybe it's just me!?

I was going to blog about this a while ago. I stopped myself because I felt like I would only add to the "chit chat" about all this. I am giving in today after I saw a video that at first made me laugh and then really annoyed me.

I think people have really forgotten what is truly important in life. Either that or reality TV and the Internet is totally just making it seem that way to me.

My first example. This video:


Now while I get the embarrassment of taking a bad picture THIS GIRL IS GOING OVER THE TOP. She is hysterical about a picture, that from what I can see is nice. I like the windblown look in her hair and she is a pretty girl. I won't lie, I can sometimes be vain but I cannot imagine going into all out hysterics, on national TV mind you over a picture. IT'S JUST A PICTURE...THE WORLD IS NOT OVER. It's not a photo of her in a bathing suit which while she probably would have looked fine in that too, I could understand more if it were. As women we are scrutinized by every little flaw and usually we are our own worst enemies. This is just of her face, and it's pretty.

Am I missing something here?

My next example is what prompted this blog today. I was on my way to drop Makily off at school and was listening to the radio. They were talking about this video on youtube and they even played the audio of it. I found myself hysterically laughing at just the audio on the radio. Surely this was a joke, no one is THIS much of a lunatic. Of course I had to find it as soon as I got home and I laughed while watching it then too.

****WARNING BAD LANGUAGE AND PROFANITIES USED IN THIS VIDEO*****


While the logical part of me realizes that this person is probably only half serious and that most likely he did such an extreme video to get attention (which unfortunately by blogging about it I am giving it to him). What concerns me is that there is a piece of him that is truly heartbroken by the fact that people are making fun of Britney. Britney is not a hero and has never been. She is just is a pop star, a human being that puts her pants on one leg at a time just like you and me....that's it.
For the record I do not like or dislike Britney, I think she is beautiful and those that are calling her fat are crazy and are also the reason there are so many teenage girls with eating disorders today.

This guy is so passionate about Britney Spears having people talk about her bad MTV VMA performance.

WHY NOT BE PASSIONATE ABOUT SOMETHING THAT MATTERS? Your hysterical over a pop star that you don't even know. In fact most of the population DOES NOT know her personally.

Which leads me to the next person I think is put on a pedestal...for reasons that I cannott
figure out.

Paris Hilton.

*sigh*

Much like with Britney I don't like or dislike Paris. I don't know her. I was APPALLED when I heard about this petition to keep her out of jail when she was caught driving drunk...NOT ONCE BUT TWICE! I realize this is old news but it goes along with my blog today. While a part of me can understand why some (teenagers) would put Britney Spears on a pedestal because she is a pop star, I DON'T get why they do this with Miss Hilton. WHAT HAS SHE DONE!? Her Daddy is Mr. Hilton. uhm...okay!? She says "That's hot" and somehow this makes her a person that should be excused when driving drunk...TWICE!? How can people really think this is acceptable!?
I wonder if she had killed someone if people would still be backing her up saying "keep her out of jail for her honest mistake". An honest mistake is putting on one black shoe and one navy shoe in the morning or forgetting your name tag on the way to work.

DRUNK DRIVING IS NOT AN HONEST MISTAKE!




Several months ago I was watching "The Next Pussycat Doll". (yes I love reality TV even though a lot of times it annoys me) Robin Antin was getting ready to cut one of the girls. She said something SO SERIOUSLY that I couldn't help but laugh at her.

Her words:

"This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life."

WHAT!?

One of the hardest things she has ever had to do IN HER ENTIRE LIFE was to choose The Next Pussycat Doll!?!?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

All the energy that is being wasted by filing petitions and crying over pop stars could really be put to good use. I am sure not one of these people have stepped foot into a PICU or into a Children's Hospital. They have never walked a cancer unit and seen tiny bald headed children with tubes and wires hooked up to them everywhere. Chances are they have never seen a disabled child struggle just to eat or breathe.

To me THOSE ARE THE TRUE HERO'S. These children change lives....TRULY change lives. They are the innocent ones that God has sent here to change the world, not Britney, not Paris.

This is Maia.

Maia has a VERY SPECIAL place in my heart and ALWAYS will. Maia is the FIRST child (other than Makily) that I ever saw with Emanuel Syndrome. Her mommy Stephanie and I have become VERY good friends. Maia has many of the same problems Makily has. BECAUSE of Maia, Stephanie started a support group for parents of children with chromosome 22 disorders. When the doctors told Stephanie there was no one else she refused to accept that. She searched, scoured and was determined to find others. She did. Now there are over 160 families that can come online and know that we are not alone. That there IS SOMEONE else out there. When I first had Makily and they told me there was no one else, Maia was my shred of hope when I had none. This picture of Maia brings back so many memories for me because it is the exact picture of her I saw when I first found Stephanie. Maia is one of my hero's.


This is Luke

The Story of Baby Luke

This is Luke, he has CMS (congenital myasthenic syndrome). His parents went 18 months without knowing what was wrong with their baby. Luke suffers from respiratory issues, feeding problems and low muscle tone. He spent a long time in the NICU. Thankfully since being diagnosed little Luke is getting treatment and he is doing AMAZING. He will need medicine all of his life and has to work twice as hard maybe harder to do the simplest of things. He does it though because he is strong and determined. Don't feel sorry for Luke, LEARN FROM HIM, be thankful that you and your children can walk, talk and breathe easily. Cherish every milestone.
He is one of my Hero's too.

Of course Makily...my sweet Makily.

How she has saved me time and time again from myself. She has taught me so much in just three years. She is the happiest child I know, she loves without condition and laughs without holding back. I could go on and on about the lives she has touched and changed. Many lives I am sure I don't even know about. Makily has been someone else's glimmer of hope more times that I can count and I continually am amazed by her.

SHE IS MY ULTIMATE HERO.


I will most likely be adding more of the "Hero's" in my life here. I guess since I had Makily I see the world so TERRIBLY different than I did before. I wish that everyone could see these kids the way I do now. I hope in some way I have shred at least a little light on who the true "Hero's" of this world are.


**Disclaimer: I recognize that I look at things differently than most because of the life I live. I am in no way trying to be judgmental here, and deep down I *believe* that I am not the only one that things some of the things I am ranting about are INSANELY PETTY!

Lost in a life jacket.

We have been taking Makily to Wild Waters almost every weekend the last month or so. SHE LOVES IT. The child is a water baby if I ever saw one.

A few weekends ago out of no where they were making it mandatory for ALL kids under a certain height to wear a life vest whether they were with their parents or not. When they told us this rule I was a little annoyed. Makily only has so much strength as it is and putting a life jacket on her was going to make it even more awkward for her. I did it anyway hoping she would get used to it. Well after about 10 minutes in their pool area I realized, she wasn't going for it. It also didn't help that they had no infant sized vests available and we had her in a size that really was too big for her.

So we got out of that pool and went over to the wave pool. It has a zero entry area and we like to sit at the "shoreline" of it with her. Well we get there and they are enforcing the life jacket rule there too.

I almost wanted to cry.

Playing in the water and swimming is one of the very few things Makily ENJOYS doing. She laughs and giggles and is really at peace in the water. Due to all her medical problems and hypotonia she can't just play like a typical child, her body just doesn't work that way. All you special needs parents out there know that when you find something that your kid likes and responds well to, it's AMAZING! I found myself getting sad that we had finally found something that made her sooo happy and now because of their new rule Makily couldn't enjoy herself. I wanted to leave right then and there because I felt like the entire day was ruined. Then I thought "heck no, they are going to make an exception for this kid, SHE DESERVES IT!"

I went up to the lifeguard (who was all of like 16) and said "My child cannot walk, crawl or get away from me, she hates the life jacket and I won't put it back on her, if I promise to sit at the edge here can I please take her in". She told me that I couldn't. It was their new policy. I asked her what I should do then and explained that Makily WAS disabled and she could barely move in the jackets they provided us. She reiterated that SHE HAD TO WEAR it BUT that she could get the manager for me to speak to.

I could feel my inner voice slowly whispering in my ear. The voice that comes from the darkest most negative parts of my brain. It's that voice that speaks to me when something like this is happening, trying to convince me to be sad. I fight these thoughts more times than I like to admit. This time the voice was saying:

"If Makily wasn't disabled you wouldn't have to be fighting about this, she would be running and splashing around right now, why do you even try?"

I quickly refused to listen to this little voice in my head and was determined to have a good day and be positive.

The manager came and I explained our story once again for him. I used lots of BIG MEDICAL WORDS so as to make myself sound smarter than I really am in the hopes that this would somehow intimidate him. Ha Ha. I told him Makily couldn't walk or crawl and had hypotonia which made it almost impossible for her to move with this huge jacket on that went all the way past her ears. Seriously all you could see was her big cheeks all squished up and two little piggy tails sticking out the top of this thing. He was very nice and explained that A DIFFERENT water park in CA had 9 drownings this season and so they had initiated this rule in Ocala (don't ask me why). I told him I understood but it didn't work for us. He agreed and said that since our case was "extreme" he would let us take her in without it, as long as I held onto the life jacket.

I was elated!

So Makily, Allen and I sat at the edge of the water playing "splishy splash". She laughed and giggled, I kept the toddler life jacket hooked around my arm.

It's amazing the things I will do and complain about now for this kid.

**Disclaimer: I do not have schizophrenia and I don't actually hear voices.**

The Blue Lemon.

That is the name we have not so lovingly dubbed the van.

If you remember from our SKYLINE MOTOR WORKS LLC aka McCoy Auto Sales of Orlando Sold us a Lemon entry the van was still having problems even after we had paid over $300 to repair it. At the end of that entry I have a video of what it was doing. Well come to find out the radiator had a hole in it. Yes that's right. Which is why when every time we got out of it it would leak water and steam everywhere.

NICE.

It's a the shop now. It needs a new radiator.

LOVELY.

At least another $350+.

BEAUTIFUL.

I have not heard one peep from the people that sold it to us. Not a response from the emails, letters or phone calls and I don't expect to either. I don't expect to either.

ENOUGH ABOUT THEM.....

We are still in the process of getting our foster parent license. We have a home study set up in two weeks. I believe this will be the last home study. After that all that is left is our doctors appts (which are scheduled for this month) and our health dept inspection. I can't believe we are this close! How exciting!!!