We had an AWESOME Christmas. This year REALLY was amazing and Makily has such a great time. We made so many lasting memories.
Hope you enjoy watching!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
The Caldwells Christmas 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
I've come to a few conclusions
As many of you know Makily was admitted to the hospital last Thursday night.
She was having breathing and major feeding issues.
Conclusion #1:
Hospital stays with Makily are going to be a part of "My New Normal".
I will no longer say "this is the last hospitalization" when it comes to her. It's been something I have said many times in the past.
I have been in denial about that for a long time. Last week really showed me that it's just going to be something I have to get used to. She has been in patient 11 times in the last 3 years. While she is healthier now than she has ever been, her little body just can't bounce back from a typical cold like most kids.
Conclusion #2:
I will never totally be over the trauma surrounding Makily's birth. It will haunt me forever.
This hospital stay we were at the same hospital Makily was born at. I avoid this place like the plague. I made the mistake of going to the maternity ward to get a coke (it was closest) and I could feel my heart racing just walking through the waiting area. I wanted to throw up. I vividly recalled my sister wheeling me from the nursery after I had seen Makily so sick and how all I could think was "What is wrong with my baby, I think she is going to die". Just walking through that area brings me RIGHT BACK to that place.
The next day I was headed to the parking lot. There was a lady in a wheelchair with her newborn. I assume she was waiting for her hubby to drive the car around and load them up. God forgive me, I wanted to smack her. I walked past her as quickly as possible. I could feel the the tears welling in my eyes as I remembered how I left the hospital the morning after Makily was born. I was wheeled out with empty arms and grief that surpasses words. My spirit was broken and my heart ached. Why didn't I have that happy moment? Why was our car ride home filled with my sobs instead of Makily's newborn cries?
Why?
There is a reason for all of it. There has to be.
Only God knows what it is.
I have to trust and believe that or I will certainly go crazy.
On the other hand all it takes to make it worth it is seeing Makily hysterically laughing over something as simple as a balloon. Knowing that she is my purpose and she has taught me more than I could EVER teach her. She has made me tougher than I ever thought I could be. She is the strongest person I know. How many three year olds get an IV placed and are smiling minutes later? Makily is one of them.
I'm her biggest fan.
She was having breathing and major feeding issues.
Conclusion #1:
Hospital stays with Makily are going to be a part of "My New Normal".
I will no longer say "this is the last hospitalization" when it comes to her. It's been something I have said many times in the past.
I have been in denial about that for a long time. Last week really showed me that it's just going to be something I have to get used to. She has been in patient 11 times in the last 3 years. While she is healthier now than she has ever been, her little body just can't bounce back from a typical cold like most kids.
Conclusion #2:
I will never totally be over the trauma surrounding Makily's birth. It will haunt me forever.
This hospital stay we were at the same hospital Makily was born at. I avoid this place like the plague. I made the mistake of going to the maternity ward to get a coke (it was closest) and I could feel my heart racing just walking through the waiting area. I wanted to throw up. I vividly recalled my sister wheeling me from the nursery after I had seen Makily so sick and how all I could think was "What is wrong with my baby, I think she is going to die". Just walking through that area brings me RIGHT BACK to that place.
The next day I was headed to the parking lot. There was a lady in a wheelchair with her newborn. I assume she was waiting for her hubby to drive the car around and load them up. God forgive me, I wanted to smack her. I walked past her as quickly as possible. I could feel the the tears welling in my eyes as I remembered how I left the hospital the morning after Makily was born. I was wheeled out with empty arms and grief that surpasses words. My spirit was broken and my heart ached. Why didn't I have that happy moment? Why was our car ride home filled with my sobs instead of Makily's newborn cries?
Why?
There is a reason for all of it. There has to be.
Only God knows what it is.
I have to trust and believe that or I will certainly go crazy.
On the other hand all it takes to make it worth it is seeing Makily hysterically laughing over something as simple as a balloon. Knowing that she is my purpose and she has taught me more than I could EVER teach her. She has made me tougher than I ever thought I could be. She is the strongest person I know. How many three year olds get an IV placed and are smiling minutes later? Makily is one of them.
I'm her biggest fan.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Humbled.
Makily's class had a field trip on Friday.
I wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen or what it was other than a Christmas Party in "The Villages" and it was ONLY for special needs children (for those of you unfamiliar with the Villages it is a large retirement community right outside Ocala). We arrived at a golf course. When we got off the bus there were several ladies dressed up in cheerleader costumes, pom poms and all cheering for the kids. Once we got past them there were clowns waiting with HUGE smiles and stickers to hand out. The kids were LOVING it.
I got a lump in my throat.
We were led to a large tent, and they had dance and Christmas music playing. Many volunteers were there to help and play with the children. I realized then how big an event this was when I was told it was for all the special needs kids in Marion County. There were kids as young as three all the way to 18. I got Makily out of her kidkart and began dancing around with her. She giggled like a little maniac and patted me like a crazy (patting is Makily's way of saying WOW ISN'T THIS FUN!). In the midst of our dancing I stopped and looked around for a moment. All I could see were happy children. Some in walkers or wheelchairs, some with braces on their legs all SMILING ear to ear, singing, laughing, dancing and having a blast. Volunteers were holding kids, dancing with others in wheelchairs. Treating them like they should be treated EVERY day of their lives, like the hero's that they are. I was overwhelmed with joy. What a beautiful moment, what an awesome thing to do.
I had to bite my lip to keep from crying.
Then it hit me.
How much I have changed since Makily came into my world.
Truth be told, five years ago...I would have run from this situation like my hair was on fire. I was incredibly MORTIFIED around the handicapped. I just didn't know how to act and was uncomfortable...and now here I stood surrounded by hundreds of handicapped people and felt incredibly touched and humbled at the same time. Touched because someone cared enough to throw this HUGE party for these kids. More than just ONE someone....SEVERAL someones had come together to put this on for these EXCEPTIONAL kids.
I was humbled for many reasons. One of which is that had Makily not come into my life, I doubt I would have the understanding I do now for these children. I wouldn't look at life or the world in the way I do now. Five years ago I would have felt sorry for those kids and walked away as fast as I could to avoid MYSELF feeling awkward. What a selfish, ignorant person I was. I was also humbled because there were many children there that were SO much worse off than Makily is (there were others that were also much more physically able than she is).
There is ALWAYS someone who has it worse than you do. ALWAYS. What's important is what you do with the life God gives you. How you handle the obstacles you are faced with.
THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING ME THIS CHILD.
Once we were finished dancing we took the kids to eat. They provided Pizza, soda and ice cream for EVERYONE to eat. There were clowns walking around making balloon animals and hats. Makily was ENTHRALLED with one of the clowns and she stared at NOTHING but him while he made her a balloon doggy. They had face painting, Makily is not too keen on letting anyone touch her face so we didn't get to do that.
Once we were done eating it was off for a golf cart ride.
Several people had volunteered to ride the kids around in their golf carts. I am not talking your regular average golf cart either people. I am talking "Pimp My Ride" golf carts...seriously the one we took Makily on was PURPLE and looked like a Cadillac! It was touching to see 60 year old men helping to lift heavy children out of wheelchairs so they could go for a ride in the golf carts and feel the wind in their faces (which by the way Makily LOOOOVES.
It's the little things in life. It REALLY is.
They had a backdrop set up and took pics of the kids with Santa and then gave them the Polaroid to remember their day. They they were sent off with gift bags filled with cookies, fruit and crayons.
I wish I could figure out who exactly put this on and what organization paid for it. We paid NOTHING for this trip. Not a dime. The entire thing was sponsored by an organization I think is called "Special Kids, Inc". I am having a hard time finding out much about them except they are a non-profit in Lady Lake. I told Allen I was so surprised that we had not heard about this in the paper or on the news, they do this EVERY year, how can they not have been recognized for it? Allen said "they probably don't want recognition, they just do it because it's a nice thing to do".
I had to bite my lip again.
I wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen or what it was other than a Christmas Party in "The Villages" and it was ONLY for special needs children (for those of you unfamiliar with the Villages it is a large retirement community right outside Ocala). We arrived at a golf course. When we got off the bus there were several ladies dressed up in cheerleader costumes, pom poms and all cheering for the kids. Once we got past them there were clowns waiting with HUGE smiles and stickers to hand out. The kids were LOVING it.
I got a lump in my throat.
We were led to a large tent, and they had dance and Christmas music playing. Many volunteers were there to help and play with the children. I realized then how big an event this was when I was told it was for all the special needs kids in Marion County. There were kids as young as three all the way to 18. I got Makily out of her kidkart and began dancing around with her. She giggled like a little maniac and patted me like a crazy (patting is Makily's way of saying WOW ISN'T THIS FUN!). In the midst of our dancing I stopped and looked around for a moment. All I could see were happy children. Some in walkers or wheelchairs, some with braces on their legs all SMILING ear to ear, singing, laughing, dancing and having a blast. Volunteers were holding kids, dancing with others in wheelchairs. Treating them like they should be treated EVERY day of their lives, like the hero's that they are. I was overwhelmed with joy. What a beautiful moment, what an awesome thing to do.
I had to bite my lip to keep from crying.
Then it hit me.
How much I have changed since Makily came into my world.
Truth be told, five years ago...I would have run from this situation like my hair was on fire. I was incredibly MORTIFIED around the handicapped. I just didn't know how to act and was uncomfortable...and now here I stood surrounded by hundreds of handicapped people and felt incredibly touched and humbled at the same time. Touched because someone cared enough to throw this HUGE party for these kids. More than just ONE someone....SEVERAL someones had come together to put this on for these EXCEPTIONAL kids.
I was humbled for many reasons. One of which is that had Makily not come into my life, I doubt I would have the understanding I do now for these children. I wouldn't look at life or the world in the way I do now. Five years ago I would have felt sorry for those kids and walked away as fast as I could to avoid MYSELF feeling awkward. What a selfish, ignorant person I was. I was also humbled because there were many children there that were SO much worse off than Makily is (there were others that were also much more physically able than she is).
There is ALWAYS someone who has it worse than you do. ALWAYS. What's important is what you do with the life God gives you. How you handle the obstacles you are faced with.
THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING ME THIS CHILD.
Once we were finished dancing we took the kids to eat. They provided Pizza, soda and ice cream for EVERYONE to eat. There were clowns walking around making balloon animals and hats. Makily was ENTHRALLED with one of the clowns and she stared at NOTHING but him while he made her a balloon doggy. They had face painting, Makily is not too keen on letting anyone touch her face so we didn't get to do that.
Once we were done eating it was off for a golf cart ride.
Several people had volunteered to ride the kids around in their golf carts. I am not talking your regular average golf cart either people. I am talking "Pimp My Ride" golf carts...seriously the one we took Makily on was PURPLE and looked like a Cadillac! It was touching to see 60 year old men helping to lift heavy children out of wheelchairs so they could go for a ride in the golf carts and feel the wind in their faces (which by the way Makily LOOOOVES.
It's the little things in life. It REALLY is.
They had a backdrop set up and took pics of the kids with Santa and then gave them the Polaroid to remember their day. They they were sent off with gift bags filled with cookies, fruit and crayons.
I wish I could figure out who exactly put this on and what organization paid for it. We paid NOTHING for this trip. Not a dime. The entire thing was sponsored by an organization I think is called "Special Kids, Inc". I am having a hard time finding out much about them except they are a non-profit in Lady Lake. I told Allen I was so surprised that we had not heard about this in the paper or on the news, they do this EVERY year, how can they not have been recognized for it? Allen said "they probably don't want recognition, they just do it because it's a nice thing to do".
I had to bite my lip again.
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