Already Gone and The New Shrink.

So one of the things every therapist has told me since talking is that I need to do things for myself. I do everything for the kids but little for me. When I do I half ass it or do it really cheap because I FEEL AWFUL spending money on me.

Well one thing I had said that I wanted to do THIS year was see THREE concerts. Kelly Clarkson, ADELE and Eminem. Yes I realize I probably will not fit in at the Eminem concert and I likely may be killed BUT alas I digress.

I decided yesterday to look up when they were touring. Adele unfortunately broke her voice last year and cancelled her entire tour to recover from surgery. Bah. Eminem claims that he will never tour again (I GET TO LIVE!).

My Kelly WILL BE IN JACKSONVILLE in just a mere:

13 DAYS!



So I looked at the seating chart and the ticket prices and was excited about maybe getting a seat close enough to actually see (with my glasses that I need to get...and quick) that IT REALLY is Kelly Clarkson up there and not some random person.

I was shocked to see there were several seats up pretty close and then I saw that there were still seats IN THE PIT available.

When I looked at the ticket price though I said no way!

Row 2 PITT CENTER tickets were $145....A PIECE so THAT times two for someone to go with me.

I immediately started looking at other seats farther away because THAT JUST AIN'T ME spending THAT kind of money on a concert....and for MYSELF? NO WAY JOSE.

Then I could hear everyone's comments about my not doing ANYTHING for myself. I do it all for the kids. I don't spend money on me. I need to turn over a new leaf. I want to do things I have never done before. I CRAVE once in a lifetime experiences, but oftentimes don't get them because I just don't want to leave this kids, spend the money...etc etc etc.



So.....I asked Allen what he thought about me going and he said it was a great idea. Then I told him about the seating and ticket prices. He thought for MAYBE 2.5 seconds and said "You are going, GET THE GOOD SEATS."

SOB

SOB

So I did.

I bought two tickets to see my girl Kelly on Feb 2, 2011 in Jacksonville 2nd row center pitt seats.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I am ALREADY GONE in my head about it (incredibly cheesy pun intended). I can't wait to go. I am so grateful to Allen for letting me and not caring about the money. We had some Christmas money left over and I used that so I felt a smidge less guilty about paying that much but I am proud I made myself do it and I JUST CAN'T WAIT!

Let us take a moment and revel in how gorgeous Kelly is in this video. I especially like the dress and necklace she has on in the parts she is laying on the couch. If it were my day for girls she would be my girl crush FO SHO!


On a different note I went to my first appt with my new shrink yesterday morning.

It went WELL.

I do not know her life story or really any personal information about her. Much different than my first and old shrink. LOL

I told her EVERYTHING. It was hard but I just spilled it all. She listened and empathized. I actually had seen her once in the hospital so it was cool that I ended up with her. I didn't think I was going to see her as we had made an appt with someone else in her office but I think she decided to take me on instead.

Either way I don't care.

She encouraged me to continue challenging all my negative thoughts about myself. I do it daily and honestly since I've been doing it, the thoughts are becoming less and less. I'm obviously working on doing things just for me too. I am not the horrible person I had convinced myself I was. I deserve to have some fun and to pamper myself sometimes and Allen is ALL about me doing it.

I had been having trouble sleeping the last several nights. They added an extra half dose of my Effexor at 5pm. Since it's a new dose I was not always taking it right around 5.....I would forget and then take it at like 8 or 9 even. She said I could take it as early as noon instead and I slept SO MUCH better last night. Somehow it was keeping me awake.

She also diagnosed me officially with Anxiety, Depression and PMDD.



I had to laugh when I read that PMDD only affects about 3-8% of women and YET AGAIN I get to fall into that tiny percentage.



Am I talented OR WHAT?

More TMI here but honestly I was admitted to the nut house on Sunday and got my period Wednesday.....so yeah my period makes me crazier than I already am. hooray.

I especially like the "leave town" option.


I personally think doctors need to do something when your tubes are tied to make you NOT have periods anymore.

Just sayin'.