For Maureen.

My friend Nicole and I have known each other since we were about 14/15'ish.  We would sit at the Pep Rally together in High School and we were President and Vice President of Fidessa (a high school social/volunteer club) our Senior year.  We have been through some ups and downs but she's been a person that's been in my life for a long time. 

Unfortunately Nicole's mother Maureen died recently and unexpectantly.  She had watched me grow up with Nicole.  Maureen had the most infectious laugh I've ever heard.  It was loud and fun.  She was a life of the party kinda gal.  I went to the funeral and sobbed watching my friend mourn the loss of her mother.  Life is hard.  Hard times bring us closer. 

Anyway

Maureen had written this merely months before she died unexpectedly.  She did have some chronic illness but was NO WHERE near death when she passed.  It was a shock.

I hope it touches you and you enjoy reading it as much I did. 

For Maureen.

"The day will come when my body will lay upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that for all intents and purposes my life has stopped.

When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my death bed. Let it be called the bed of life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives. Give my sight to the man who never has seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to a person who's own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.

Give my blood to a teenager who was pulled from a wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist.

Take my bones,every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of (what's left) of my brain. Take cells if necessary and let them grow so that some day a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.

Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help flowers grow. If you MUST bury something let it be my faults, any weaknesses, and all my prejudices against my fellow man.

If by chance you wish to remember me do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked I will live FOREVER. --Me

My Version of Perfection.

She sits perched perfectly in a rubber band dome chair
her Daddy bought her. 

Her tiny feet dangle swinging back and forth, kicking out in excitement every now and then.

She's wearing a pink heart bib that I made for her.  One of the good ones I've made...the seams are all pretty straight.

She grips the sides of the oval chair and sometimes scrapes her fingernails on the vinyl part to hear the sound.

Jakob comes in, patts her on the shoulder and says "amornin baby gerrr".

I cuddle him for being so sweet and always acknowledging his sister.  He calls her "His Kily"...Allen, Jakob and I like to argue over who she truly belongs to.

I look back at her and she's shaking her head, smiling and patting the chair.  Fairly Odd Parents is on.  She claps her hands and looks at me as if to say "Did you see that mommy?" 

She has the most beautiful porcelain doll white skin I have ever seen in real life.  Her eyes are so big and so deep blue that sometimes they almost look black.  In the sun her eyes sparkle deep dark perfect blue. 

She has perfect little lips and the cutest dimples (one man made) I've ever seen.  Her voice is angelic.

Her hair is a mess up in a pony tail.  She has blonde curls framing her face so even with bed head she's beautiful. 

She is amazing and strong.......and after eight years I can say SHE IS PERFECT.  She is who and what she was supposed to be.  I am grateful she is mine.

I'm learning to let go of what might have been.  What I thought my life should have turned out to be.  I am trying new things and venturing out into the world.  I will always mourn the "dream" that I never had but I've finally learned to rejoice in all that is wonderful and beautiful....and PERFECT in Makily. 

Ketchup.

Let's play catch up.

I took Makily to the surgeon.  He looked at her belly and said she needs a longer feeding tube.  He feels if it is rubbing it's because the tube is too short.  She has grown a lot and so the size has to be changed.  We got the new size tube yesterday and I plan on putting it in tonight.  I just hope it does not leak. 

He was not at all concerned about the incisional hernia so I'm not either.

Makily and I went to The Family Cafe at the Orlando Hilton last weekend.  Chontee had gotten a scholarship to go and asked Makily and I if we wanted to room with her and her kids.  It was a much needed get away.  We spent a lot of quality time in the pool.  We floated around their lazy river countless times and I snuggled my girl.  It was wonderful!

I'm working on getting a new camea and a new laptop.  My old one DIED suddenly.  I am hoping a fully charged NEW battery will revive it but if not I'm no too hopeful. 

I need to take more pictures.  Time is passing me by and I'm missing out! 

I had a really cool RED digital camera but somehow in my chaotic life it got lost along the way.  Right now I have a Samsung I think?  It has a touch screen and I hate it.  Sounds like it would be snazzy but I'm not digging it. 

Anyway

I'm rambling

That's me. 

I ramble.

I have some exciting things going on behind the scenes right now.  I can't/won't talk about it publicly just yet but just know I have something I'm excited about and looking forward to.
(don't you hate it when bloggers do this......you know you love me)

In other news our a/c went out one day this week and it was SWELTERING.  Luckily all it took was Allen putting the a/c on a bigger breaker and it was fixed.  Boy has it been hot in Florida lately though.  At least TS Debby finally blew over because the week or rain got old real fast for me.

That is all for now.  Half of this post was written in June the other half on July 5th. 

ur welcome.

Trish the Great.