I think of you often now that we are so close to having you here (at least I think we are close!). I have gone clothes shopping for you twice. I feel a rush of excitement and fear when looking at things to buy for you.
I know you will be afraid when we meet.
Most likely you will have been torn from the only family and home you have ever known. Everything will be different for you strange people, strange house, strange smells. I can't imagine how scary that will be for you. I pray I will know the right way to hold you, rock you and comfort you so you will feel safe and comfortable in my arms.
Knowing the reasons why you will need to come and stay with me brings sadness to my heart. I would be lying if I said I didn't want you to stay forever. That is the fear I speak of when I buy things for you. The fear in wondering how long you will be with us. Wanting to fall in love with you and fearing the heartbreak of when you may leave me. My faith in God comforts me and I am reminded that no matter what happens you were meant to come into our lives and us into yours. It was all in God's plan long ago. Only he knows the outcome. While I do have fear and anxiety about all these things, I have a peace with that too, knowing that God has led our family to you.
When I purchased the outfits today it struck me that if you leave I will send you with EVERYTHING we got for you while you were with us. At least a small piece of us will go with you. My hope is that someway, somehow we have made your life better and that you know what it is to be loved. I pray that your forever family whoever that may end up being will do whatever it takes to make sure you feel safe and loved.
I pray you will know no matter what that someone loved you unconditionally and that you were VERY wanted.
If you do get to stay with us I pray that you realize it was your destiny to be in our family. Just like it was Makily's destiny to be our daughter. I pray that we are able to show you how wanted and loved you are. I pray I can show you that being different is okay and that we are all special.
Most of all I pray that you are happy, loved and given all the opportunities in this world that you deserve.
Love
Your soon to be Foster Mommy :-)
I know you will be afraid when we meet.
Most likely you will have been torn from the only family and home you have ever known. Everything will be different for you strange people, strange house, strange smells. I can't imagine how scary that will be for you. I pray I will know the right way to hold you, rock you and comfort you so you will feel safe and comfortable in my arms.
Knowing the reasons why you will need to come and stay with me brings sadness to my heart. I would be lying if I said I didn't want you to stay forever. That is the fear I speak of when I buy things for you. The fear in wondering how long you will be with us. Wanting to fall in love with you and fearing the heartbreak of when you may leave me. My faith in God comforts me and I am reminded that no matter what happens you were meant to come into our lives and us into yours. It was all in God's plan long ago. Only he knows the outcome. While I do have fear and anxiety about all these things, I have a peace with that too, knowing that God has led our family to you.
When I purchased the outfits today it struck me that if you leave I will send you with EVERYTHING we got for you while you were with us. At least a small piece of us will go with you. My hope is that someway, somehow we have made your life better and that you know what it is to be loved. I pray that your forever family whoever that may end up being will do whatever it takes to make sure you feel safe and loved.
I pray you will know no matter what that someone loved you unconditionally and that you were VERY wanted.
If you do get to stay with us I pray that you realize it was your destiny to be in our family. Just like it was Makily's destiny to be our daughter. I pray that we are able to show you how wanted and loved you are. I pray I can show you that being different is okay and that we are all special.
Most of all I pray that you are happy, loved and given all the opportunities in this world that you deserve.
Love
Your soon to be Foster Mommy :-)
3 comments:
DEEP! You guys are going to be great foster parents.
What a beautiful post! I stumbled upon your blog from another one and I have enjoyed reading about your ups and downs, joys and teaers with your daughter. I wish you all the best of luck with everything!
Oh and I used to be a caseworker with special needs kids and had a lot of interaction with foster parents, you sound like you are going into it with the perfect frame of mind and an open heart. Your going to make a very lucky child know that they are loved by someone in this world and that, is the greatest give you can give. Especially someone who really needs to be special to someone.
sorry for the ramblings! best of luck!
I'm so touched..and weepy again!!
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