I feel like a rung out washrag.

Friday I felt weird all day. Just out of sorts. Sleepy, groggy, nauseated etc.

I spent most of Friday night into early Saturday morning hugging the toilet.

Oh joy.

Since then I have felt so lethargic, walking across the house leaves me out of breath. ICK. I keep breaking out in sweats, if I didn't know better I would think I was going through menopause at 30.

Hoping tomorrow is a better day.

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Thursday J had visitation again. I sent a note with him. I really got a wild hair and sent four pictures of him. I had only intended on sending one but Allen and I couldnt choose which was the best. His bio sent back a very gracious reply. Truth be told I was excited to read it and then AFTER I read it I wished I hadn't.

*sigh*

I go from desperately wanting to loathe J's bio's to actually feeling sorry for them. Don't get me wrong, in my mind there is NO EXCUSE for what happened that put them in the position they are in. This is not their first "day at the rodeo" so to speak.


It is no one's fault but their own and they both should have known better.


On the other hand reading a letter saying things like "thank you so much for taking such good care of J, he is cleaner and happier since being moved to your home and we are so grateful" tends to make them more human and not just a "situation".

Does that make any sense?

I don't know it's just all very confusing and conflicting.

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Delaney is going in for a bone marrow biopsy on Tuesday. We are all on edge about that and I am sure no one wants it to be over with more than my sister and my brother in law. Please pray that the test results come back fine and that little Delaney does not need any further blood draws or needle pokes.

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I spoke with both the home health company and the insurance company about Makily's bed. They will NOT cover the sleep safe but they will cover a "fully electric home health bed". I looked up online this is the bed they approved.

Here it is:



When I saw it the first thing I said was "there is nothing on that bed to keep Makily in it!!" She said "oh well the rails would come with it and then directed me to the "safest" rails for Makily.
Here is a picture.

They picked those for Makily because they go the length of the bed, all the others are either half rails or less than that. These rails ARE NOT going to cut it and if they would have carefully read my letter they would have realized that. Makily will get wedged in between the bed and railing in NO TIME I can see it already. She is so wiggly at night I KNOW her tubes/wires/cords are going to get tangled and caught in that railing. For Heaven's sake she just fell out of the bed because SHE GOT WEDGED IN BETWEEN THE TODDLER RAIL AND MATTRESS AND BROKE THE TODDLER RAIL! Everytime she has been in the hospital in one of their beds I wake up to find her sideways in the bed with her arm/leg stuck between the bars/rails.

SO NOT SAFE!


Which is why we picked this bed.



See no rails, nothing for her cords and wires to get tangled into, no way for her to wedge herself in between anything.

At this point I have to write a letter of appeal and I will include pictures of Makily all tangled up in her wiring/tubing. Hopefully I will be able to catch her wedged in her bed....isn't that horrible that I hope to catch that? I should have taken a picture the last time but I was so mortified I didn't.

Right now she is sleeping in a toddler bed and I am sleeping in her big bed when Daddy is out of town for work. J sleeps in his room in his crib. We figured if Makily falls out of the toddler bed at least she is only falling a foot rather than falling from the height of a twin bed. She has already found ways to wiggle down past the rail on that and I went in last night finding her halfway in and halfway out of the bed...


...................................WHY DID NT I TAKE A PICTURE? ACK DANG IT!