So today I went to K-mart to buy a vacuum cleaner. Ours died because I.....err...I mean someone ran over a screw driver and broke the belt on it.
Of course there are NO prices on any of the vacuum's I am looking at. As always, that's MY luck. I narrow it down to two choices and load them both in the buggy. I figure I'll have the checker scan them both and then I'd buy the cheapest one (I told you I am the cheapest woman alive).
I was in need of panties (i've gone too far again haven't I?). So I go to the panty/bra section and I am looking around. I notice a guy walk through the panty section and I make sure NOT to make eye contact. I know better since the last GUY IN PANTY DEPT FIASCO WITH TRISHTWO.
A few minutes later while perusing the assortment of Hanes six packs he approaches me.
Great.
Seriously I was thinking "is this happening.......again.....REALLY"?
I swear it was the "tiny mexicano man incident" all over again.
What blows my mind is I seriously looked like a ragamuffin. I had NO makeup on, a pair of old jean shorts and a BRIGHT GREEN "Kurt Kelly for State Representative" t-shirt on.
Of course there are NO prices on any of the vacuum's I am looking at. As always, that's MY luck. I narrow it down to two choices and load them both in the buggy. I figure I'll have the checker scan them both and then I'd buy the cheapest one (I told you I am the cheapest woman alive).
I was in need of panties (i've gone too far again haven't I?). So I go to the panty/bra section and I am looking around. I notice a guy walk through the panty section and I make sure NOT to make eye contact. I know better since the last GUY IN PANTY DEPT FIASCO WITH TRISHTWO.
A few minutes later while perusing the assortment of Hanes six packs he approaches me.
Great.
Seriously I was thinking "is this happening.......again.....REALLY"?
I swear it was the "tiny mexicano man incident" all over again.
What blows my mind is I seriously looked like a ragamuffin. I had NO makeup on, a pair of old jean shorts and a BRIGHT GREEN "Kurt Kelly for State Representative" t-shirt on.
SO NOT SEXY!
Here's the recap of our awkward conversation:
HIM: You speeekee Spanish?
ME: Uhm what?
HIM: You speeeeeeeeeke SPAAAANISH?
ME: No no, just English.
HIM: Oh okay.
*I then to try and escape when my buggy gets hung up on a bra hanger on the ground and makes an embarrassingly LOUD SQUEEEAK NOISE, all the while he is staring at me with a goofy grin on his face*
Kill me now.
I awkwardly say "oops, sorry about that".
Why I apologized I really an not sure. Maybe I was afraid he thought I farted instead of rolling over the hangar.
Then he starts again:
HIM: What's your name?
ME: Trish
HIM: Troooooooch?
ME: No, Trish
HIM: Oh Tratch?
ME: Uhm yeah that's it.
Here's the recap of our awkward conversation:
HIM: You speeekee Spanish?
ME: Uhm what?
HIM: You speeeeeeeeeke SPAAAANISH?
ME: No no, just English.
HIM: Oh okay.
*I then to try and escape when my buggy gets hung up on a bra hanger on the ground and makes an embarrassingly LOUD SQUEEEAK NOISE, all the while he is staring at me with a goofy grin on his face*
Kill me now.
I awkwardly say "oops, sorry about that".
Why I apologized I really an not sure. Maybe I was afraid he thought I farted instead of rolling over the hangar.
Then he starts again:
HIM: What's your name?
ME: Trish
HIM: Troooooooch?
ME: No, Trish
HIM: Oh Tratch?
ME: Uhm yeah that's it.
(he could have called me mud, I would have cared less, I just wanted out of there!)
HIM: You give me phone number?
ME: Ugh, no I am married (pointing to ring).
HIM: Oh sorry.
Then he darted off like his hair was on fire which was incredibly relieving that this horribly awkward moment was OVER.
At least when I told him I was married he let it go unlike "tiny mexicano man" who told me "it's okay" over and over.
sigh
Don't get me wrong I have no problem with Spanish/Mexican/Latino men AT ALL. In fact I am part Spanish. My grandmother's maiden name is Hernandez, my Great Grandfather was a true Spaniard in every sense of the word.
HIM: You give me phone number?
ME: Ugh, no I am married (pointing to ring).
HIM: Oh sorry.
Then he darted off like his hair was on fire which was incredibly relieving that this horribly awkward moment was OVER.
At least when I told him I was married he let it go unlike "tiny mexicano man" who told me "it's okay" over and over.
sigh
Don't get me wrong I have no problem with Spanish/Mexican/Latino men AT ALL. In fact I am part Spanish. My grandmother's maiden name is Hernandez, my Great Grandfather was a true Spaniard in every sense of the word.
I just don't understand what it is about me that seems to ALWAYS attract men that can't speak English!
I hate these horribly awkward moments.
Maybe he admired what a clean person I was because I had so many vacuum cleaners in the buggy?
Perhaps he thought I would be a great housekeeper?
BOY WOULD HE HAVE BEEN SURPRISED lolol
I hate these horribly awkward moments.
Maybe he admired what a clean person I was because I had so many vacuum cleaners in the buggy?
Perhaps he thought I would be a great housekeeper?
BOY WOULD HE HAVE BEEN SURPRISED lolol
3 comments:
Who knew that the KMART panty department was the new pick up place....I'll remember to stay away. :D Hugs to you sweetie! You are adorable, so I don't think it would matter what you were wearing, he would have picked up on you in a potato sack. :D
OMG - you friggin crack me up.
too funy. Here's what you say should you de'ja vu again:
apestas. adios.
(you stink. Goodbye)
That will send a slight "hint"
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