Raw Thoughts and Sushi.

That is my favorite title I do think.

Every time we have been inpatient there has been at least one other family that we have connected with them. It's almost impossible to NOT connect with each other because let's face it as a special needs parent we are trying always to bring normalcy to our kids. Most people just take "normalcy" for granted. Understand that when I use the word normalcy there really is no such thing, I am talking about the VERY BASIC FUNDAMENTALS FOR LIVING SELF SUFFICIENT ONE DAY. Breathing, eating, SWALLOWING (it still stuns me to this day how difficult mere swallowing can be to an immunodeficient child). I could go on and on about this by I will get to my point.

Today I have taken at least four....maybe five breaks out of this box of a room. Every time I venture out something has made me reach out to people. Say things I wouldn't have said but only would have thought but I said them out loud because I knew it would make the other person happy. And ya now what? It's made me happier.

Please know I realize that makes me sound like Mary freaking Poppins but I assure my dear friends (angel faces as Jenna Marbles would call you)I ain't Mrs. Poppins. (I not so secretly love you Jenna!).

This picture makes me LOL FOR realz.


Don't want to be either. I'm starting to like myself again.

Tonight I went downstairs to get food and kept looking at the sushi, I've never had it. Normally I would have just gotten something familiar. Today I BOUGHT THE SUSHI. As I was going back to the elevators with my food I heard a mother saying "Come on Nicholas....now the elevator is here....". I stood holding the elevator....and holding....and holding......*she didn't ask me to but I'm still holding it lady.....and holding........ANNNNND around the corner comes a little boy barreling towards me. He trips and falls, he even bumped his head pretty hard when he fell. I waited for screaming and crying but it never came. He jumped RIGHT up and said "I'm fine" and got on the elevator with his mom quickly following behind. It was then I realized this boy had cancer (cancer kids break my heart). Initially I thought he was three or four until I heard him talking and saw his face......he was totally bald. He was likely closer to six'ish. He pushed the button for the second floor on the elevator and grinned at me.

I looked at his mom and said :

"Don't you just wanna carry him around and keep him in your pocket and snuggle him?" She grinned and said "OH YES all the time, every day but he doesn't want to be still." I said OH I know all about that I have a little boy. I told her how cute her son was and they got off on the next floor. The other woman in the elevator look on her face that I did. I smiled and said "Ya know I have been in and out of the hospital the last eight years with my daughter and each visit there is usually one kid that stands out and I always will remember....that was that kid....he just made me want to.....

With tears in her eyes she interrupted me and said:

"Carry him around keep him in your pocket and snuggle him forever?"

I looked at her now with tears in my eyes and simply said "Yeah".

The elevator door opened to my floor and as I walked out I heard the lady say

"God Bless you and good night".