Snuggles is gone......

.......and I am sad.

It's 12:41pm and they just pulled away with him.

It's raining here, literally.

Instead of just handing him over, I carried him to the car, Allen kissed him and said goodbye before I walked out. Snuggles didn't seem to know anything was happening. I buckled him into the seat. Then I covered him up with the blanket I have been rocking him to sleep with every night. He smiled at me. I wanted to cry but instead I just tucked his sippy under his arm like he likes, kissed him on the cheek and said goodbye.

Then I walked in the house, cried and then decided to blog.

Please pray for little Snuggles, my heart goes out to him and I am sad I could not have helped him more. I know that he needs more than we are able to give him right now and so I know we did the right thing. That doesn't make me feel any less guilty about letting him go though.

I am glad we did it. I wouldn't take it back. When I start to ask myself "Why the hell are we doing this?" I think of Snuggle's HUGE toothy grin and it makes it all okay. To know that we helped a child that was in a very scary situation and needed to be comforted is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done.

What scares me the most is that if it is this hard to let Snuggles go after less than five days, I do not know what I am going to do if I am forced to let little J go.....ever.

God Help Me.