NOT A GOOD DAY...OR NIGHT...

Well Makily's G tube has been leaking on and off for a week now and it got really bad last night. I hate it when the darn thing leaks because I swear I have post traumatic stress from all that happened last year. (that entry is on 12-10-2005). She also has developed a chest cold so I took her to Dr. Pierre's office. I wish things could just be easy for us. None of the home health companies in Ocala has the bigger sized replacement button Makily needs in stock so we have to wait until tomorrow when they overnight it to us to get it. GRRRRRRRRRRRR, I hate that. Anyway Makily and I were up all night and most of today. She is doing well right now (Knock on wood) and I gave her 4 oz about an hour ago and THANKFULLY it didnt leak out...first time in 2 days. I am just praying we can get through tonight and tomorrow.
I am bummed and irritated. When I was in the waiting room at the peds office I noticed these two little boys playing with some toys and being rambunctious(did I spell that right?). The mom kept telling the one boy to be quiet and sit down and it was all I could do not to say NO LET HIM PLAY AND BE A KID, be thankful he is playing and loud because I would do almost anything for that! I wish to God Makily could get up and run around like that....I wish she could scream and yell MAMMA to the top of her lungs when she is happy or sick or just yelling to hear her own voice. I long to watch her run and play and Lord knows what I wouldnt do to hear her say "mamma, i love you". I try not to dwell on these thoughts for too long because I do get really upset about it. It's just hard when she is having problems not to look at the "bad side" of things. I told my mom today "it's bad enough she has to have a tube in her tummy to eat but good Lord can we at least have it work and not leak all over her? Is that too much to ask?"
On top of poor Makily having all these issues at once, I have a wisdom tooth coming in where there is NO ROOM in my mouth AND a "cold sore" inside of my mouth. WHAT FUN. I get cold sores in my mouth when I am stressed so well now I have one. Hooray for me.
That's all the fun and excitement from here in the Caldwell house for tonight.