Jakob likes 911 and "I SWEAR OFFICER I'M NOT A BATTERED WIFE"!

***If you have not read my LAST ENTRY you should read that to understand this one completely***


The day after the accident Allen and I got new cell phones.

Blackberry Curves, LOVE THEM.

Allen took the SIM card out of my old phone and gave it to Jakob. HE LOVES a phone and so Allen thought WOW this will remedy the problem we have with him always trying to get ours.

What we didn't realize though was that EVEN THOUGH there was no SIM card in the phone....you could still dial 911.

*sigh*

Jakob was walking around the house with his phone when I could have sworn I heard someone talking. I ran to him, grabbed the phone and someone said:

"911 what is your Emergency"?

Here's how our conversation went:

ME: OMG Ma'am I'm so sorry, my son dialed 911, everything is fine.

HER: What is your address, I need to send an officer?

ME: Oh no ma'am NO NEED FOR THAT....my two year old dialed you, see we got these new phones and took the SIM card out of the old one and.......

HER: Right, he can still dial 911 with the phone though...what is your address?

ME: SIGH....Fine, my address is.............But really you don't have to send anyone, my son dialed 911.......I tried to tell...

HER: An officer will be out shortly.

GREAT

JUST

GREAT!

About fifteen minutes later there is a knock on my door. I open the blinds and sure enough...it's a cop.

SIGH.

I open the door and immediately start stuttering saying "I'm so sorry officer, my son dialed 911 and see we got these new phones and we didn't realize if you took out the SIM card in the old............"

All the while he is staring at my eye and forehead.....I guess because it looked like THIS:



Heh...heh.....yeh.

To make matters worse when I think I am in trouble the more I try to explain something away whether I am guilty or not (and you know I am never guilty;-) I MAKE MYSELF SOUND LIKE THE BIGGEST LIAR EVER.

The officer waits for me to stop stuttering and yammering and says:

"What happened to your head and your eye".

To which again I begin stuttering and stammering saying "Oh this, I was in a wreck yesterday, it's actually kind of funny that you are here and I am dealing with the police two days in a row, I swear this is from the accident, did you see the STONE HILL sign up there...well I did that....."

Then he demands the police report from the accident.

When I handed it to him, he starts to read it, his face lights up and he says:

"OMG YOU ARE THE LADY THAT GOT REAR ENDED BY FLORIDA HIGHWAY PATROL YESTERDAY"?

sigh

"Oh yes, that was me, how did you know about that"?

He then explains that they "all" knew about it and that everyone was giving the officer a hard time and that I was the "Poor Mini Van Mamma".

LOVELY.

He then asked to see Jakob and left with a big grin on his face.

A week later I was walking into the gym. That particular day I was tired of wearing my sunglasses on the treadmill so I braved it with my black eye out for all to see. I was walking to the treadmill when I noticed a man staring at me. The closer I got the more he stared, which I assumed was because I had a black eye. Then he smiled very big, jumped off of his treadmill, ran over to me and exclaimed "OMG HOW ARE YOU", THEN HE HUGGED ME! Initially I had no idea who this guy was and was about to PUNCH HIM when I realized.....THIS IS THE GUY THAT REAR ENDED ME!

He said he thought it was me when I walked in but that when he saw that black eye HE KNEW IT HAD TO BE ME. We joked around and he told me he had gotten nothing but grief from his fellow officers about the accident. The officer that had come to my door the week before called him after he left my house and ragged on him saying "Dude you should really feel bad, that poor lady looks like someone beat her up, I can't believe you hit poor Mini Van Mamma".

OY.

Ocala, it's a small town.