FRAZZLED...

The last couple of days have left me so out of it.

We took Makily to Orlando yesterday to the Neuro's office for an EEG. We went early because we were looking to buy a van (in fact we bought one yesterday). When I went to get Makily out of the carseat I notice her leg is wet.....I look down and realize that the med port on her g tube had popped open and the formula has leaked all over her and the carseat.

THIS DRIVES ME INSANE FOR MANY REASONS!

One of which is because taking off the cover of the carseat to wash it IS A FLIPPING NIGHTMARE! You basically have to DISASSEMBLE the entire carseat to get it off. Then be a genius once it's washed to get it back on and assembled correctly. I have only done it once and vowed not to do it again. Well obviously with formula like this all over it, I don't have a choice. I get to wrestle with the carseat again...Oh joy.

Also I have no idea how much formula went in Makily for that feed and how much got fed to the freaking carseat. God only knows how many calories she lost for that feed. Plus I did not bring an extra outfit so I had no way of changing her clothes. I dry her off the best I can, we sign the paper work for the van. We leave there and planned to stop and get Makily something to wear on the way to Neuro. I know that the office is ON Turkey Lake Road and behind Sea World. So I tell Allen the address and where to go....we drive and drive and it's no where to be found. Nothing looks familiar. I look in my address book and I cannott find the number for the office. So I call information and they SWEAR there is no listing for the doctor I am seeking. At this point we are 15 minutes late for the appointment and I am cussing like a sailor (Lord please forgive me). FINALLY after driving up and down the road for a good 45 minutes Allen says I am just going to keep driving down Turkey Lake until I find it, of course this leaves no time to grab a new outfit for Makily so she gets to stay in formula soaked clothes. Sure enough we find the office..THERE IT WAS.....want to know WHY we got so lost?

It was my fault...yes mine...instead of being behind Sea World it is actually behind Universal Studios. I am an idiot.

I got a call to schedule Makily's ASD repair today. It is scheduled for July 13th. I am not the least bit excited about it and if I am being totally honest I have cried on and off all day since we scheduled it.
Driving home from work today I was really out of it. All I could think about was the surgery and how I wish it was all over with. I was thinking that I am going to ask for special prayer for Makily in church the Sunday before. Then I look in my rear view and there is a cop with his lights on behind me *great*. I clumsily try to find somewhere to pull over without being in the way or sitting in front of someone's house. The cop comes up to the window and says "Is there a reason why it took you so long to pull over?" I was a little dumbfounded and stuttered while clumsily saying "yeah I didnt know where to go and this was the most open area I could find, without blocking anyone's house". Then he went on to say that I should have pulled over earlier and that I only need to ensure that my car would be safe and bla bla bla bla.......he went on but I don't know what he said I kept wondering how long he had been behind me and how long I was so zoned out on thinking about Makily's surgery. I was getting annoyed because it's not like I was running from the police. Finally I cut him off and said "I wasnt sure where to go and I WOULD NEVER run from the police...my baby is in the car sir". Then he said that is not what he was suggesting. Whatever. Next he asks if I knew why I got pulled over. I answered honestly and said "no, I really don't.". He said that I had slowed down but not stopped for a stop sign two streets back. I wasnt sure where so I asked him. He told me the street number and I just said "okay". He got snippy AGAIN and said "there is no reason to argue, I have it on tape". I wasnt arguing...I just didnt know where he was talking about. I said "I didnt argue with you, if you said I did it, then I guess I did".
He walked back to his car with my drivers license. I cried while he was in his car, don't know why other than I was annoyed for being so zoned out, I made sure to wipe my face before he came back...with a $185 ticket. Lovely. I havent had a ticket in 5 years. I am gonna take the lame driving class so I don't have to pay as much and I won't get any points.

When I got home Allen called. I just started crying again and told him about the ticket, Makily's surgery date etc. He was so sweet about it and said not to worry...it's just been a bad day.

That it has.