Growing Pains

So Makily is now 43 lbs. 

It may not sound like much but she does not hold on or help support her weight at all when you pick her up.   It's harder to just throw her on my hip like I used to do.  I miss the days of her being tiny where I could tote her everywhere.  And I did A LOT.  I loved the Baby Bjorn my friend had given me.  Those days were hard but there are moments that I remember fondly.  Moments that you realized while it was happening that you were going to remember them forever. 

I digress

Allen and I are seriously thinking about and looking for ways to get the van converted and a ramp into the house.  Actually Allen and my Dad could build the ramp.  We just need the van to be able to carry her IN her wheelchair rather than in a seat/carseat.  These are changes I had hoped we would not have to make.  I had hoped she'd be walking at least enough to go to the bathroom, her room, the living room and to and from the car by now.  With help of course, I wasn't totally delusional.  Harsh.  I know.  But it is what it is.  I have reapplied for CMS for both the kids.  I also applied for APD (Agencies for Persons with Disabilities).  Hopefully one or both of these agencies can help us or point us in the right direction for this. 


..and I'm Bipolar.

Type II

Took the doctor about eight months to diagnose me. 

Type II has longer, deeper depressive episodes whereas Type I is more up and down from mania to depression.

She upped my Abilify to 15 mg and went down on my Effexor to 150 mg.  I feel better since the meds were changed. 

I feel like I should be more upset with this diagnosis but honestly it explained so many other things so  I wasn't terribly shocked when she told me.  I don't have any deep thoughts about it really.  It is what it is and it's just another hurdle I get to jump over in my life. 

I have lots of hurdles.