Court is over.

**some of this may be edited later for personal reasons**

I can honestly say that I have not felt that amount of anxiety since Makily was about to be diagnosed with Emanuel Syndrome.

It was nearly that bad.

I had no idea what was going to happen.

I was told literally an hour before the hearing that I was on the witness list.

To say I was a nervous wreck is an understatement.

For some reason when I got to the court house I started seeing spots in my periphreal vision.

Very weird....VERY, VERY weird.

Once I actually got into the court room my lips went numb, then my fingers on my right hand went numb.

I think maybe I had a stroke? he he

Not really but maybe my blood pressure was SKY HIGH!?

I did throw up before I left the house.

There were several witnesses....eight or ten.

I did cry a few times during some of the testimony by J's bio father.

Not like boo hoo/wailing cry...more like this my eyes were teary.

I was the next to last witness they called.

Thankfully they did not ask me any difficult questions. I was very short, sweet and to the point. I mainly gave "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" answers....unless I absolutely had to say more.

Long story short.......

............things went well.


The judge ordered TPR (termination of parental rights) of both of J's bio's.

Everyone including J's bio father said they want us to adopt J. He is healthy, happy and thriving in our home. We are the only family he knows. He should stay here.

I can't tell you the relief that gave me. It's been a terribly LONG, stressful 14 months but I feel like we are so close now to this being over. So close.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. They have helped tremendously. Keep them coming...because while this is a huge step in the right direction, I won't breathe a total sigh of relief until the adoption papers are signed and that sweet boy has our last name.

We love you J.

Big Day In Court.

Been waiting for this day for 14 months.

I'm a nervous wreck.

Don't know what will happen.

Hoping all goes well, but I really feel like I am walking into the total unknown here.

Was told about 10 minutes ago I'm on a witness list. This is news to me.

Hoping I'm just on the list and I am not called.

Will update later today.



Think and pray for us.

Father's Day at the Beach.

We went to the beach in Crystal River.



The beach is a great place to get awesome pictures don't ya think?






NOTE: KEEP SCROLLING DOWN, THIS IS THE 3RD ENTRY IN THE LAST TWO DAYS...I AM SO TRYING TO CATCH UP!

I'm back Bloggies and trying to catch up.

Bear with me ya'll. I'm really trying to get myself back in order.

Figured I'd play a little catch up here with random pics of what's been going on around our parts (that sounded very country of me).

We went to a tattoo party on Sunday. It was a little different but we had a good time. Everyone brought their kids and they played, Makily watched TV and did really well hanging with the other kids. I put her in one of the bedrooms while she ate, but after that she watched TV and hung with them. She did great. J was the maniac he always is. He loves kids, and had a big time.

Me waiting for the guy to start....NOTICE THE SMILE!



During....not so smiley anymore!


The finished product....sorry for the oogy looking picture of it, still have ink and stuff smeared. It's healing now so I will get better pics eventually. I think later I may add legs to her and little swirlies above and below to make it look like she is walking up my toe.



YES IT HURT, luckily it only took like 15 minutes. I would never get a huge tattoo again. I have a big fairy on the small of my back and I wouldnt do that again.

I don't have an actual pic of mine but here is the pic I used to have it done.



That was my first one, it took forever. Too painful for too long.


J is doing all kinds of new things. Climbing is his new skill, I AM NOT A FAN. He will push a chair over to the sink, climb up on it and then try to do dishes. He also enjoys mopping and sweeping. I joke that he is going to be a janitor one day. He will find a broom or mop ANYWHERE we go and use it. He enjoys cleaning. He is pretty much finger feeding himself and will eat nearly anything you put in front of him. He loves stuffed animals and will pick them up and hug them to himself. Of course he is obsessed with all things he's not allowed to play with. The phone, TV remote, camera, keys etc. He's doing well in speech and is babbling MUCH more. Just like Makily HE LOVES MUSIC. He will stop in his tracks when he hears it and DANCE. IT IS SO CUTE AND HILARIOUS.

Makes me laugh every time.

Will blog more later....keep checking....trying to catch up guys!

The crappy blogger of the month award goes to......

*drum roll please*





ME!





I suck bloggies, really I do.





I am in a funk. A writing/blogging life in general funk.





I have my own issues I am dealing with....nothing new really, same crap different day you know? I can't say I'm depressed about anything really, I'm not......I guess I'm just withdrawn? I have been having that whole "Who am I, how is this my life and what am I doing" crisis. Sounds totally cliche and it is but I'm so there people. I'm not even really unhappy, just I don't know what you call this.......BLA?





I don't know if I am making any sense or not.





If you have been calling or emailing, it's really not you IT'S TOTALLY ME. I am trying to force myself out of this "funk" but I am hard headed as you know. I seriously checked my email this morning and had 1000 emails in my inbox....ONE THOUSAND. That is ridiculous. Oh and btw my cell phone is GONE....I lost it days ago and have yet to find it. I'm going crazy without it.


Anyway as I type this I have Makily vid uploading, and that will be posted at the end of this thread.


The long awaited Pre-K Graduation video:

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

**please forgive the earlier DIRTY word, it REALLLY and truly was a typo that I am mortified about at this very moment!!!**

I'm ALIVE, sorry bloggies....

i've neglected my blog.

Hanging head in shame!

We have had a busy couple of weeks. Hanging out with friends, the kids were both a little under the weather, therapy appts for them both, I have a cold and a million other goings on!

I will blog Makily's pre-k graduation later today. Right now I am playing catch up with all kinds of other stuff.

Be back soon with pics and vid.

STAY TUNED!

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS GRAPHIC PHOTOS.

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.




**Seriously this entire post is gross so if you are easily offended OR have a weak stomach....skip it*****











Okay you have all been given fair warning.


I was in a mad rush to get ready to be at my doctors appt by 11:00. I am always in a mad rush to get ready.

Story of my life.

ANYWAY

J was taking an early nap (because I knew if he didn't I would pay for it at the doctors office). I had just enough time to get ready and be to my appt on time.

I got out of the shower and heard J talking in his room. I decided I would go get him up real quick and then blow dry my hair.

Well when I opened his bedroom door.....this is the horror I found.

(cue psycho music....reet, reet, reet, reet)



Have look INSIDE his crib:


Gotta love baby turd hand prints:


J was covered in poop from his head to his toes.

He even had crap plastered BETWEEN his eyes.

SERIOUSLY.

I had no time to take his picture. I quickly picked him up (while holding him away from my body....think Three Men and a Baby), and went straight to the bathroom. I left the drain open and just ran the water. He thought this was a wonderful game and squealed in delight. I blew dry my hair while he soaked the turds off of his body.

sigh

I have been saying for the longest time that I wanted to do a mural and a theme in his room. I ha vent for fear they will take him and then it won't be his room anymore.

I guess J was tired of waiting for his mural.

He made his own.

Out of turds.

I will say that I am rather impressed.....to me it looks like a bat....maybe even a bald eagle? How Patriotic of him?



Look at the wing span on that!

Just when I thought I had all the solid turds cleaned up...I pulled the crib out from the wall to clean it and found this....Oh Joy I thought...another prize!

I like to call this picture

Sticky Wall Turd


Needless to say I spent an hour bleaching the walls, his crib, the sheets and cleaning up turds. I shampooed the carpets too.

I will be saving these photos to use as black mail when little J is older and he brings a girlfriend over. I may have been the turd cleaner today but revenge is sweet!

Here's the after. Hopefully it will stay this way....if I wake up to another turd mural in the morning.....I may cry.







Trish honey, YOU TOTALLY called this last week didnt you!?

I HATE APRIA MORE TODAY THAN I DID YESTERDAY.

Dear Apria,

This afternoon after a long day of appointments and running around with my kids, I was relieved to see a small box from your company on my doorstep. I was thankful that FINALLY after ALL YOU PUT ME THROUGH in the last couple of weeks, I had the extension tubes I so DESPERATELY needed in order to FEED MY CHILD!!! I was almost joyful about it.

Well my relief and joy was short lived.

I opened the package and quickly realized something very ANNOYING.

I could feel my blood pressure go through the roof.

You sent the WRONG EXTENSIONS.

YOU SENT THE WRONG EXTENSIONS...YES THE WRONG ONES.

THESE DO NOT FIT YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING.

What really BURNS me up is that you sent the VERY extensions that I told you SEVERAL times WERE NOT THE CORRECT ONES.

Please know that I will be calling your office in the morning...and I feel incredibly sorry for the poor chump that gets my call.

Sincerely


Trish
Psycho Mommy on a Mission for AMT feeding pump extensions.

p.s. I hate you all.

I had a couple of questions from readers I figured I would answer here:

1. Maklily's AMT button is an 18fr 1.7 cm.



2. IT IS NOT one of the AMT models that we can use Mic-Key extensions with. I was hopeful it was, but alas it is not. I have tried....believe me. The part that hooks into her button is too fat and seems shorter.

3. I had not heard of the AMT clamp but I am on a mission to find one and get one!

4. The exact name of her button as written on the box is: AMT Mini Balloon Button.

What I ended up doing is yanking off the med port/feed port peice off one of the new extensions (which I wasnt sure you could do...but now know I can). Then I yanked off the med port/feed port off the old extension. That really was the part that was making the tubing slide out because it's been used to much it's stretched out. I put the new piece on the old tube and it's working for now.

I am the Queen of "Make it Work".

I feel like Tim Gunn (I so love him by the way).



It's sad I have to rig my kid's feeding tube with parts and pieces to feed her.

Such is life.

I HATE APRIA!!

I HATE THEM!

HATE THEM!

Makily's got this new AMT button. When we got it, it came with ONE bolus extension (for feeding quickly with a syringe...which Makily can't tolerate) and ONE pump feeding extension.

I was due to order her monthly supplies in a week or two and figured I would order more extensions then.

Well in TRUE MAKILY FASHION the ONE extension we had POPPED A FREAKING HOLE. NEVER has this EVER happened to us. Holes in the balloon on her button yes BUT NEVER on/in the extension tubing. In all honestly I was just glad the button didn't go bad!

So I call Apria in a total panic telling them that Makily can't eat without this extension and I need one overnighted to me. I was desperately trying to think of ways I could feed her in the meantime from taping over the hole on the extension we had or just trying to make the bolus extension work with the pump (which ultimately is what we did overnight).

I tell the woman MY CHILD CAN'T EAT WITHOUT THIS TUBE.....she does not eat by mouth.

Do you know her reply?

Brace yourself.......




"Sorry, Ma'am it's a special order item and it will take two weeks to get it to you".





WHAT?!

I reiterate AGAIN that Makily can't eat without the tube, SHE WILL SHRIVEL UP AND DIE OF STARVATION waiting two weeks for them to ship the freaking thing.

Then she had the nerve (and stupidity I might add) to actually tell me that since it's a special order item.....they don't even make them until you order it, that's why it takes two weeks.

I LAUGHED...VERY LOUDLY IN HER EAR.

I went on to tell her this was unacceptable. She had to get me the stupid tube somehow, some way.

I didn't care how.

She says "well I don't do special orders"

GIVE ME TO THE PERSON WHO DOES YOU FREAKING MORON!!!!!!!!

She transfers me to someone equally as heartless and idiotic.

I go through the entire story with the new asshole and do you know what she has the nerve to say?

"We don't even have an order for that tube ma'am, I can't even try to order it without an order from the doctor".

At this point I lost my cool (okay I am lying, I lost it when the first idiot told me two weeks). I said "Look I don't care what you may have to do, what extra step you have to take but I NEED THIS TUBE and NOT two weeks from now...I NEED IT YESTERDAY LADY"!

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX PEOPLE.....THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX...WHAT PART OF MY KID CAN'T EAT WITHOUT THIS TUBE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!!!?

Am I speaking Greek or something!?!

THROW ME A FREAKING BONE!!

So I ask her what she suggests I do. What should I tell Makily when I can't feed her for the next two weeks? Sorry Makily....the lady on the phone couldn't send us your tube because she didn't have a piece of paper and it was a special order?

I asked her what she would do in my situation.....I say "If it was your baby, I am sure you would find a way to get the tube....and NOT in TWO WEEKS"!

YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAYS?

"Ma'am, I would follow the same procedures I am following right now with you!"

I laughed and said "Well I feel really sorry for your kids!!!!!"

She says she will "see what she can do".

That's the last I heard from her.

When I hung up I had to run to pick Makily up from school and then take her to therapy. I wasn't sure what I was going to do.

I called Allen and asked him to google "AMT" (the button manufacturer).

He did, then he called them and guess what?

HE GOT TWO OF THE EXTENSION TUBES OVERNIGHTED TO US FOR $30.

It took him all of 10 minutes.

SHAME ON YOU APRIA......SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!

I wasn't going to call them and tell them how incompetent they are because it just puts me in a really bad mood and nothing ever changes with them.

Three days later I get a call from Apria. Verifying that I ordered a new AMT button for Makily.

sigh

NO YOU IDIOT, I DIDN'T ORDER THE BUTTON......I ORDERED THE EXTENSION SETS...THE FREAKING EXTENSION SETS!!!!!!

I swear I am going to have high blood pressure and gray hair.

So I tell that lady what a moron she is (and honestly she just was thrown into it and had no clue what was going on....I feel bad about going off on her now, give me a break, she called me while I was in a cramped dressing room with BOTH kids in the double stroller SCREAMING). I go through the whole story AGAIN which just pisses me off that I have to waste my breath for the 900th time with these idiots. She tells me she will "check it out" and call me back.

That was six days ago.

sigh

Fast forward to this weekend. Makily's extension tube kept coming unattached from the pump. Meaning it fed the bed, her car seat or her diaper. The extensions are really only made to use for a week then thrown out. We have had to use these more because it's all we have right now. This morning we get her up for school and she is laying in a puddle of formula....fed the DAMN BED again. THANK GOD for her Sleep Safe Mattress....it just wipes right off. (Shameless plug there :-)

We get her ready for school and start a feed on the pump. Allen drives her to school and THE DARN THING UNHOOKED FROM HER TUBE AGAIN!!!! Fed the car seat, she was drenched and a mess by the time Allen got her to school, so he turned around and brought her right back home.

I call Apria to find out WHERE ARE THE EXTENSION tubes that I ordered.

I go through the entire story with the supervisor (I asked for her off the bat because I did not want to go through the entire story more than once). She does not apologize for the stupidity....she puts me on hold to check on it. Comes back and says that our local branch has them and will be sending them to us today. I ask her why I had the issue when I called about the tubes to begin with. Does she not see that it was a bit ludicrous that I got NO HELP and left to figure things out on my own? I went on to tell her it took us 10 minutes to get the tubes overnighted from the manufacturer. That it makes no sense why they couldn't have done the same thing.

Her reply?

"We didn't have the order".

SIGH

I give.

Here's my problem....I get they didn't have the order.....I get it. I get that it was special order and they don't always do that.

WHAT I DON'T GET IS THE FACT THEY DIDN'T CARE/UNDERSTAND THAT MY KID COULD NOT EAT WITHOUT IT AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET IT TO ME AND ASAP!!!!

It takes minutes to get the order. Dr. Pierre is usually always good, especially in situations like this. Even if they didn't have the order in their hands at the moment they shipped the extension tube.....really who was going to know that? Who would have found out? A five year old kid COULD NOT EAT without this tube and so I think it was worth the minimal risk of sending us a FEEDING TUBE and getting the order a day later.

We got the button with no order?

I told the lady on the phone that I pray she never has a child or a family member in the situation my kid is in. I told her that if that ever did happen to her I pray that someone would help them more then they had helped us.


END RANT.