How to wait in line at Walmart 101.

Seriously someone needs to write a curriculum and teach a class.

I am SO tired of Walmart these days I could scream. I go to the check out counter KNOWING there is going to be some sort of hold up. Either the clerk is older than dirt, the people in front of me are morons, they have to switch clerks when I get up there or do a cash drop with the manager.

IT NEVER FAILS PEOPLE......AND IT DRIVES ME INSANE I TELL YOU.

So I go to Walmart on Thursday.

I had this toy to take back because we got three of them for the kids for Christmas. I go to the "customer treat you like crap service desk" .

I wait in line because God knows that line is always RIDICULOUS.



This chick walks up and stands NEXT to me, not behind me.


I do not know her, she smiles at me and stands there.


For a split second I thought I might know her since she is standing next to me and is so close.

Here she is, yes I took a picture of her, I look in front of her but I assure you I was not, I had to hold the phone out pretty far so she couldn't tell I was taking her picture! LOLOLOL



Then I realized this idiot does not know how to stand in a line.


Each time we moved up, she moved up and was still RIGHT NEXT TO ME.


Not BEHIND me where she belonged but next to me.


The 3rd grader in me is screaming "no cuts" but I held it in. When we would move up I would try to inch as far ahead of her as possible without being obvious but she just kept standing NEXT TO ME....like a little leach.

Now everyone else getting in line was standing BEHIND me.


It reminded me a little of Dane Cook's rules for cutting in line.
(while HILARIOUS the above link has cussing and some crudeness just a warning)


FINALLY we (me and my new friend) get to the front of the line.


I am thinking


"this lady better not go to the next available counter or I am so going off on her".


When the clerk said next I BOLTED to her and left my new found friend in the dust.


So rule number one for waiting in line at Walmart:


Stand BEHIND the person that is LAST in line. Do not stand next to them and especially NOT in front of them. Also leave at least three feet between you and said person. Standing just inches from them IS ALSO NOT APPROPRIATE and could get you a black eye.



ISN'T THIS COMMON SENSE?



I shopped a little after the leach lady incident.

I had to pick Makily up at 2:05 and so around 1:30 I go to the check out. Car line does not really even move until 2:12 so I had PLENTY of time.

The lines were are LOOONG (surprise) and so I decided to go to one of the self check out lanes. There was only one person scanning their stuff in front of me.

It was a lady on a motorized cart with basket on the front and her husband.

He scanned several items then started putting DIMES in the machine for payment.

DIMES?

REALLY?

He finishes paying after about 3 million dimes and then I notice he starts scanning more crap.

Strange.

He pays AGAIN with change and I am thinking "finally it's my turn".

OH NO, boy was I WRONG.

His wife on the motorized cart gets up and starts scanning cat food that was in her little basket.

She scans about 20 cans, then pays with cash into the little machine. Her husband stops her at one point to tell her he wants to get rid of all his change and to use that instead. An argument then ensues while I stand there FUMING at the fact that these idiots are on their THIRD transaction, paying with CHANGE and I am STILL waiting.

Finally she wins and pays totally with cash. Then she walks back to her basket where I see her putting MORE CRAP up on the belt.

Now I am PISSED.

She scans that stuff pays with a card.

She does this THREE MORE TIMES.

My head was about to fly off of my body at this point.

The line had gotten ridiculously long behind me at this point. I could not stand another second so I started complaining to the equally annoyed lady behind me. Nothing like complaining about an idiot at Walmart to bring two strangers together.

FINALLY the lady gets to her last item which literally was a pack of paper.

I am not kidding.

She scans it, and when she tried to pay for it, her card was declined.

The reason for my insanity.



GOD PLEASE TAKE ME NOW!!!!

She scanned it twice more and was declined both times. Then her husband happily pulls out his change and they pay with about 5 hundred dimes.

Someone PLEASE explain to me WHY do people do this. Why on earth would they have had 800 different transactions?

Rule Number Two

When in line at Walmart if paying with check, have check out, drivers license number written on it and made out (unless your gonna let them make it out on their computer thingie), don't just stand there reading the magazines when people are in line behind you. If you are paying with your card.....SCAN your card WHILE waiting for the clerk to finish checking you out. This saves EVERYONE on time and you will make a friend with the person behind you. DON'T EVER send your child back to go get the bag of cookies or okay ANYTHING after you have been totally checked out. THAT IS BEYOND RUDE and since YOU forgot the item THEN YOU should have be the one inconvenienced by going back in the store and getting back in line, NOT THE PERSON WAITING PATIENTLY BEHIND YOU! If something is on sale and you notice you didn't get your discount...if it's less than twenty five cents GET OVER IT. Don't hold up an entire line over a quarter...PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND THE SANITY OF PEOPLE LIKE ME FOLLOW THESE RULES!


FYI, I realize that rule number two had about 500 rules in it but I went off on a tangent.

Forgive me?