Buying Dirty Panties.

**three entries today folks so keep reading!**

Now when I say dirty panties I don't REALLY mean dirty panties.

Who would buy those?

I mean lingerie.

Yes lingerie, have I gone too far on my blog again?

I dont like to call it lingerie, in fact I usually call it

LING GER REEE

That or of course "dirty panties".

So last week I went to go buy some dirty panties.

Now I am a 31 year old woman, married for eight years and I have two kids.

Still, buying "dirty panties" makes me feel like a 16 year old pimply faced boy going in buying condoms.

Not that I know what that would feel like, I've never been a 16 year old boy or bought condoms.

Work with me here okay?

I just feel like I am doing something wrong, like I'm not old enough to be buying that.

There is still a huge part of me that feels 13.........15 on a good day.

Mom are you totally cringing yet....I apologize in advance!

So I go to Bealls outlet to look for dirty panties. I tell myself in advance that I can't JUST buy dirty panties. I have to get something else too so it won't look like I was only there to buy dirty panties....even though I really was.

I pick out the dirty panties, hang them on the stroller that J was in. I immediately dedide hanging them like that is a NO GO. I mean dirty panties hanging off a baby stroller is wrong in so many ways right? So I open the umbrella part of the stroller and set them up there. Then I desparetly start looking for something else to buy so I can put that on top of the dirty panties and hide that I was buying them.

I told you I feel 13 at times.

I go to the kids section and try to find something for one of the kids. Then I realize that it would be weird to buy dirty panties AND kids stuff.

This is how my mind works people, I'm warped, I know.

So I look around my section and still I can't find anything to buy that will hide my dirty panties purchase. I continue sifting through clothes when I hear J squealing "mamammamamammamaaaa" so loudly. I look and he has somehow grabbed the side of my dirty panties off the top of the umbrella and is waving them happily in front of him.

GOOD GOD.

I give up, snatch my dirty panties from J and decide that I will buck up and be the 31 year old married woman I am and JUST buy the dirty panties and nothing else.

I walk up to the counter and there is just one person in front of me buying about 800 things. Great I'll be here forever meaning more people will see me buying only dirty panties......sigh.

Then like a beacon of hope, this lady walks into the store.

She asks if she can get the basket off the counter in front of me. She selects a pair of clearance earrings. I tell her since she just has the one item she can go ahead of me. She smiles and gets in front of me. Truth be told I only let her butt me so I could take her picture.

Here she is selecting her earrings.

While standing behind "curler lady" I realized something.

If she can come into Bealls Outlet at 1:00pm in the afternoon wearing her curlers to ONLY buy a pair of clearance earrings, then I SURE AS HELL can buy a pair of dirty panties and not feel any shame.

Thank you curler lady.