Once again ANOTHER anonymous poster on my blog.
First of all "anonymous" I would like to commend you on how incredibly COWARDLY you are to post something like this and not put your name. VERY NICE. It's really easy for you to comment like this especially when you know ZERO of the circumstances surrounding J'S CASE!!!
I guess I will post it here so everyone can follow whom and what I am answering. This was left in the comment section of my last entry.:
I hope when you say you'll never give up baby J that you don't mean that you would not give him back if the state deemed his parent or parents fit to take care of him. The first goal of Foster Care is to reunite the family, their first obligation is not to help you adopt the first baby that comes along, I'm sorry to say that but it's the truth and you really should already know that. You took on foster care because you couldn't afford to adopt but maybe you should concider saving your pennies and adopting a baby in a few years rather than going through the foster care system. Clearly you have gotten yourself attached to this child and when the day comes that he needs to be returned to his biological parents I seriously hope you give him back. People can actually change and they might actually be able to provide for baby J. You are just the extended babysitter until such time that they can provide for him. You really should have known that you are the sensitive type of person who gets attached and you should have concidered saving all that money you spent on preparing for foster care and just using it for adoption. It's too late for that now, so maybe you should concider once this case is over NOT getting another child from foster care and just saving for adoption. Personally it seems to me that your little girl has enough need of your time that it wouldn't be a bad thing to wait a little longer anyway
******LONG ANNOYED SIGH***********
********DRAMATIC EYE ROLL**********
If J's parents had gotten it together then YES it would rip my heart out but I would not fight tooth and nail to keep him here. If he were going to a home in a stable environment where he would not be in danger DAILY then YES it would hurt but I could let him go. We would not do anything illegal like flee the state or country. Makily is too fragile and we NEED all of our friends and family to survive. We are rooted here and don't plan on leaving. So no we would not risk our freedom and Makily's life, we are not criminals.
FIRST AND FOREMOST being a foster parent it's my job is TO PROTECT AND NURTURE THIS CHILD. What would you do ANONYMOUS if you took care of a child for eight months and were the ONLY MOTHER HE KNEW and you were told they were sending the child into a dangerous situation? Would you sit by and say "well I am just the "extended babysitter" whatever you say DCF". Maybe you would but I WON'T AND CAN'T as I wouldn't be able to live with myself if J's little face was splattered on the front page of the paper weeks later. At least I WILL KNOW that I did EVERYTHING I could possibly do to keep him safe and ultimately DCF made the decision and it's on their heads NOT MINE!!!
I know that DCF's FIRST GOAL is to reunite families. It's been pounded in my head for nearly TWO YEARS now. AT WHAT COST THOUGH?! Reunite a family when the problems that started the entire case ARE STILL BLATANTLY THERE IN EVERYONE'S FACE!?!? Then what? The child (in our case) whom has had a "nearly normal" life is thrown into an environment that he likely will be ripped right back out of months later and put into a DIFFERENT foster home? If that doesn't scream ATTACHMENT DISORDER I don't know what does.
YES people can change I have seen people do it, BUT IN THIS CASE THEY HAVE NOT!
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.........NONE. I CAN GUARANTEE IF YOU KNEW THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF THIS CASE (WHICH YOU DON'T) YOU WOULD CRAWL RIGHT BACK INTO THE LITTLE DARK ANONYMOUS HOLE YOU CAME FROM WITH YOUR LITTLE FORKED TAIL TUCKED BETWEEN YOUR LEGS.
I won't even address the LOW BLOW comment you made about Makily and how much time she needs from me. Your not worth it.
I am seriously considering disabling anonymous comments on my blog. The last thing I need is someone coming here without the GUTS to say who they are judging me without knowing what the hell is going on. Don't I have enough to deal with anonymous? Does it make you feel good to pile on ANOTHER weight on my shoulders?
Do me a favor anonymous.......lose my blog address.
*by the way I so hate trying to spell anonymous and it was so annoying to have to go spell check it 800 times. At least I know how to spell "consider".**
18 comments:
I have sincerely enjoyed reading your blog. I find you to be an incredibly courageous mother. It breaks my heart to read about little J's situation. I have prayed for your family many times. I pray that God will place little J with your family permanently. I don't know all the details of the case, but it is quite clear that you have his best interests at heart. God bless you and your family.
And pardon my language, but all you needed to say to the coward that posted that comment is STFU!
As somebody who has been adopted at a late age through the foster care system, it all depends on the parents: you are exactly right! While my birth mom loved me, her problems were too severe to care for a child and they made sure I was placed into a wonderful foster home (which later adopted me). Even my birth mom agreed that a different family who could care for me better would be the best for me. I hope that whoever is involved in the process of J's case realizes that his bio's are acting foolish and needs to be placed in a wonderful home such as yours. Once again, I wish you guys the best of luck with his case!
Don't even waste your breath girl, they are so not worth your time. I disabled the anonymous comments on my blog because I didn't want to deal with the riff-raff anymore. I just consider the anonymous commenters to be the red-headed stepchildren of the blog world. ;)
Trish...people never cease to amaze me! I can't believe that someone would be so rude and so cowardly as to post that comment. It was totally unnecessary and uncalled for. You knew the ins and outs of the foster system before you ever even started the process. I know that you know hwo it all works and what the goals are of the state and other authorities. Yes, you've fallen in love with little J. Who wouldn't?? Being the only Mother and stable environment he's ever been given...of course you are just looking out for his best interest.
For Annonymous to actually tell you that you shouldn't do Foster Care is INSANE!! What a wonderful Foster Family the system would be losing if you took that option. It would be a shame that no other children would be blessed with your love and your home. Dont' listen to them Trish...keep doing what you are doing. You are providing a wonderful service for children in need.
And for Annonymous to be so bold as to tell you what to do with your family and your money (ie Adoption) well that just proves that he/she is cluless and insensitive. How rude to stick your nose and your unsolicited opinion into such a serious matter.
To Annonymous him/herself....get a life and seriously mind your own business. You must not have enough to do in your own life than to give unwelcomed advice and comments. I'm sure if we all read your blog and got a glimps into your life we could all get on a soapbox and preach to you and make hurtful comments that are coming straight out of left field. You are saying what you are saying to be spiteful and hurtful. There is no relevant context in your comments....so from now on....leave it alone. Unless you have some encouraging or supportive to say....please SAY NOTHING!!!!!!!!! Your Mom should have taught you better. And lastly...there might be a special place under Satans Genitals for you too after making the comment about Makily!!!! Don't ever so much as utter her name again because you know NOTHING about this child or this family. Find someplace else to play games...ok???
Trish, how absolutely sad that a person who wants her/his voice (OPINION) to be heard that they lack the balls to stand behind what they claim to believe in. How sad that ignorance has overshadowed their opinion because if you believe in something so much, why not stand behind it .. and not behind anonymous?? Yet they choose to pop in on your blog and produce a post that has little factual evidence to support their stance. They have LITTLE knowledge about the trials and tribulations that you have conquered over the past 4 years. You have done an amazing job and will continue to do so!! Continue to fight for your babies, and ignore such immature and thoughtless people!
Good for you....
I bet you felt a little better after you wrote it.
It is sad that people can think they know EVERYTHING about you because they read your blog. I keep a great deal out of my blog as I am sure you do as well.
Don't let it get to you...you know you are doing the best for J and Makily!!!
I am sending my prayers that everything works out with baby J!! The world needs more people like you!!!
I'm so sorry about the moron. During Nov (Nat'l Adoption Month) I had the idiot from Legally Kidnapped (an anti adoption blog) send his nasty flying monkeys over to my blog and "tell me like it is". Come to find out, I'm a BABY STEALER. Niiicce. I started moderating comments until it simmered down.
For him/her to even MENTION your care of Makily is obsured!
You have a wonderful blog and are my daily inspiration going into fost/adopt. Breathe girl.. WE LOVE YOU!!! :o)
That is just horrible trish!! I am so sorry honey! You are doing more that just babysiting and you know that..some people are just so DUMB!!!
OMG - I can't even believe some people! I'm so sorry that people will come to YOUR blog and have the nerve to say things like that!!And then to not even have enough guts to sign their name! ~Mo~
ok, so now i've read their comment twice and I cannot get over the "extended babysitter part" honestly?? The foster system should be ECSTATIC to have such a loving family and even extended family for their children! As for the comments about Makily... I can't even begin to express my feelings. I have never met either you, Trish, nor Allen and I still know that God gave her to you guys on purpose. Only an amazing family like your own would be suitable for this little angel. I admire everything you do and can put up with!!!
I have been priviliged to read your blog for the last 2 years.. I pray for your family daily.. I know it must be heartbreaking for you I am kinda going thru the same thing so I know how it feels. Just know that the idiot that said those things is only one person. There are millions out there that support your views and stand behind you I pray you get Little J
That sweet baby deserves hugs, kisses and love from someone who means it!(even if it is at the expense of you falling in love). No one knows the future but TODAY he is in your house and TODAY you are doing what God has allowed you to do for that baby and it is the definition of selflessness. We don't love people because there is a guarantee of a happy ending; we would never take a chance at loving anyone! If my girls were to somehow end up in the system and transfered between 9 homes, my prayer is that in each home they would know the kind of love you show baby J!
What did she expect you to do? Be cold and robotic toward him?
“And he goes through life, his mouth open, and his mind closed”
Trish, Sending you big hugs and a big fat kick in the pants to the anonymous loon!
I HATE when people make snap judgements without knowing the situaiton. That was an extremely low blow to even comment about the time and care Makily requires. You are an awesome and courageous mother! Little J is lucky to have you in his corner and I know God gave you Makily because of the amazing mommy you are.
Raising a child with special needs is a journey and adventure filled with heartache and lots of joy. It is also filled with the most unconditional love in the world. People who have not walked in these shoes should never ever make any kind of judgement on any part of it. The idea, that just because we have one child with special needs means that our life is over-consumed by that to have other children is the craziest idea ever!
So, the the ANONYMOUS CRAZY LOON: SHUT YOUR TRAP (or step away from the keyboard) and go find something to talk about that you know something about......maybe the grass growing in your front yard.
HUGS TO YOU TRISH!
I don't even know where to start..............this person clearly is nuts to be even thinking these things, let alone leaving them as a comment. Anonymus ofcourse (see I don't like that word either), since they don't have the guts to put a name.
You are not too sensitive........we, as fosterparents need to be sensitive and attach. These dumb buttwipes should thank God for foster parents who are willing to love these kiddo's as our own and put their hearts on the line and their lives on hold. Reunification is hard, but I know you would be okay IF you knew little J would be taken care of. Reunification if the outcome is iffy at best, should never be done.
I live with the results of a failed reunification every day, and it's heartbreaking to see what it has done to our M.
We are not glorified, extended babysitters, we are picking up the pieces, left by idiot parents that can not get their acts straight.
That's the ugly truth.
Don't let this idiot get to you. Keep the faith, I still don't believe little J is going anywhere.
If I did not know better....I would think they were in the system....or the family.....
Oh good grief! Do idiots like this have nothing better to do with their time? Let it go, they don't know anything about you or Baby J.
Trish, for what it is worth, I don't allow anonymous comments on my blog. I don't get as much traffic as you do, but I did get a nasty post from someone once that I had to delete. Fortunately just once.
As far as "the system" goes, CPS sucks. Period. Just once I'd like to hear about them doing the right thing. I had to deal with them earlier this year myself (we were investigated) and I could not get over how the worker who handled our case badly twisted things that I said. I firmly believe that if I did not have a child with special needs she would have ripped all five of my kids away from me. Thank God they closed our case after a month.
I've actually thought about filing a complaint because our caseworker actually did several things that were blatantly illegal during the investigation but like you, I feared retaliation.
I'm praying for you and little J. Sorry I haven't read or commented on your blog lately. I lurk often, though.
Once I started Invisible Kids, I couldn't put it down. This book fascinated my heart and denied to let go till the last page was turned and I made the commitment to do something. (www.InvisibleKidsTheBook.com)
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